Life Lesson #12: Busy or Free?

I flipped through my notebook yesterday to update my event calendar.

I used to love event calendars because they kept everything so organized. Even if I didn't need one, I'd get one simply because I liked the little boxes with dates and days.

Now, I'm almost completely dependent on my event calendar.

I jot down my appointments, friends' birthdays, special events, competitions etc.... Recently, I did a review of it and realized how packed it really was.

2012 is a busy year for me. My event calendar was bursting with different activities. At the time of filling in those tiny boxes, I believed myself to be joyful, annoyed, upset, frustrated, excited and maybe, even gushing different types of emotions.

When I look at them now though, I feel nothing but happiness and fulfilment.

Being busy doesn't necessarily translate for a sad, lonely life with no meaning but work after work.

Being free doesn't mean being able to live the life we envisage.

For me, I need the former to keep me satisfied, pumped and happy.

This may sound weird, (and I'm sure it does), but a busy life teaches me to appreciate time.

When I'm free with nothing to do, it's hard for me to push myself to do things.

When I'm busy with three or four tasks at hand, I learn to be more productive and maximise use of time. In fact, I often picture myself juggling different assignments in the future, but nonetheless still living a great life.

But hey, I guess everyone's different. Some people may fare better in their free time, when they can achieve peace and tranquility and think carefully about the next step.

We are all different in our own thoughts and principles, but these differences are not a platform for us to be wary or critical of others.

Respect one another for our differences - it is because of them that the world is truly a more colourful, exciting place.

Life Lesson #11: Of Happiness

I always thought that a good day would surely lead to happiness.

A smile from a friend, a teacher giving less homework, remembering to bring every single thing I need to school. These were the things that made me happy.

If a friend was in a bad mood, I would be in a sour mood. If by recess there were more than 2 pieces of homework jotted down in my notebook, I'd be in a foul mood. Forget to bring a book to school? My mood would worsen with every book I forgot to bring.

For years I assumed that everything that happened in my life controlled my moods. In order to be happy I had to wish for all these good things to happen to me.

It was not until today that I realized the futility of it all.

A book written by Andrew Matthews taught me this lesson. Accordingly entitled "Happiness Now", every single illustrated (yay!) chapter in his book is aimed at showing people how happiness is easily achieved.

Happiness is not something that we earn; it is in every single one of us, waiting to be shown through a smile, a simple gesture or an emotion.

I looked back on my life and I've realized that I was truly happy when I chose to be happy, not when all these good things I've just described happened.

When I wanted to feel happy, I lost the usual Monday blues.

I didn't even blast off at a friend who forgot to bring my paper for me. (don't worry - I wasn't mad at you, and I will not be mad at you :)

Instead, when I was happy, I was more productive, I felt better, and I really solved problems instead of worrying incessantly over them.

Sometimes, all it takes is to flex your facial muscles and muster a smile.

It can light up a day, make you happier, and possibly make someone happy as well.

Don't wait for someone or something to make you happy, because they don't have the obligation to do it for you.

Instead, make yourself happy by feeling happy.

It is only then that you truly see the value in life and learn to embrace your problems one step at a time.

Life Lesson #10 : Grandparents are around!

My grandparents are here again!

It's not often that I get to meet my grandparents, given the fact that they live in our neighbouring country, Indonesia, instead of neighbouring states or cities. Thankfully, when they do visit us, they stay for a longer-than-normal period of vacation time.

I love it when my grandparents are around.

My grandmother is a great cook. She's also quite optimistic in life.

My grandfather has an interesting sense of humour. Plus, he's got green fingers (a skill that was, unfortunately, not inherited by me).

I didn't really talk much to my grandparents until these few years.

But I'm glad I did.

There is an old Chinese saying that states that the old ginger possesses the spiciest flavour.

Of course, there is no denying that this statement has its own flaws. But nonetheless, it has survived the changes of time till this day because there is almost always truth in this saying, for most situations.

Perhaps your grandparents may not be able to teach you how to solve a chemistry question or tell you how cool they think the latest pop song is, they can teach us a lot simply from the way they look at life.

By telling us stories of their lives, by preparing scrumptious traditional dishes or just by simply sitting next to us while watching TV, they show us the value in tradition and value in life.

They teach me to be appreciative, because even if there's nothing to be thankful for, we can at least be grateful for being given a chance to live.

Life Lesson #9: Of A Taekwondo Exam

After 5 years of practice, I finally found myself in the face of a black belt exam.

Actually, I could've taken my black belt exam in March. I chickened out at the last minute and pulled out.

I would've very much liked to "chicken out" today as well.

Luckily, the prospect of wasting USD$80 weighed down heavily on me.

Words can't describe my feelings today. I was nervous/excited/scared/calm at the same time.

The session I was most nervous about was the board-breaking session.

I was equally worried about the free sparring session.

I had never been good at sparring. I tended to hop about too much and misjudge distances. Lady luck shone on me today and I managed to come out, unscathed. At least, that's what I think. After a day's rest, I should be able to tell whether or not I've perfectly un-scarred.

As for the breaking..... I DID IT! With some luck, strength and some techniques.

The most important lesson I learnt from this though, was not the fact that I seriously needed to put on more weight, muscle and strength.

Rather, it was learning that to succeed, one must be calm, patient and confident.

Even when you are faced with something you have never broken in previous attempts.

Having confidence is already half the battle won.

The few times I was unsure of my abilities (and scared of the board), I failed to break it on first attempt.

The same goes for life.

Sometimes, we are uncertain about the unknowns in our life. We don't feel confident about something new, something challenging, something that haunts our past.

But feeling like this will NEVER get us anywhere. 

We should always try to feel confident and optimistic about life, albeit knowing how unpredictable and surprising life can be.

Even if it happens to slap you in the face like a big, wet fish, let us remain positive and be confident that there will be better days ahead. P.s. we should also feel thankful that it's just a fish, not a 1-inch wooden board.

CONFIDENCE + OPTIMISM + HARD WORK = SUCCESS

Actually, these two boards don't fit. I couldn't find two pieces that fit for a momento. 

Life Lesson #8: Of The Olympic's Archery Teams

The first Olympic's match I watched was the archery competition. I had tuned in when the men's team semifinal match began.

I didn't manage to keep my eyes open till the very end, so I went off to bed after the United States had sent Japan out of the match.

p.s. The US team proceeded to beat Korea (oh no!!!) and met Italy in the finals. But Italy emerged the final winners with a one-point difference.)

This morning, I watched the women's team competition. This time though, they were at the 1/8 elimination round.

This time, the finals weren't held today. But I'll be wide awake for the finals (if I don't have school the next day).

Archery is a sport that involves loads of patience, skill, luck and a pair of incredibly steady hands. It requires optimum time control and the ability to overcome sudden wind currents.

Most of all, it requires teamwork.

Each team is given 2 minutes to shoot 6 arrows. Each person can use about 40 seconds to shoot both their arrows.

If a teammate takes too long to aim and shoot, the others are left with less than ample time to make an accurate aim. This case was sadly, very true for a few teams.

What happens when a teammate takes way too long to complete part of his/her project?

Instead of blasting off, complaining about it to other people or creating bad vibes within the group, maybe we should get into the Olympian spirit and look up to the archers.

They just smiled, gave each other a pat on the back, and got ready to make up for their teammate's unintentional error.

It takes a lot to be able to reach this mutual understanding. Teamwork and team spirit played an important role.

Till now, it is still hard for me to comprehend and try to take in my teammate's different attitudes, behaviours or principles.

Sometimes, I feel like yelling at them. At times, I have done so. But I ALWAYS regret my decision immediately after.

Yelling, scolding, firing up or complaining isn't going to get anything done. That's a lesson well learnt from my 17 short years of experience so far. Especially in a team.

Teamwork is the only key to any success in a group.

And that is what the Olympian archers have shown us time after time.

Life Lesson #7: Of A Cab Driver

In school, we are taught to behave ourselves well, no matter where we are, as our actions ultimately affect how society perceives our school.

My experience in Bangkok was a very good example of this statement.

But I'm not referring to myself as the goodie-two-shoes in this post. I was hopelessly lost in translation and had fallen sick before half of my trip was over in the land of Tom Yam.

I shared one of my most memorable experiences in Thailand with my Malay oral examiner. It was pretty unconventional, but I talked about a cab driver.

Actually, I don't quite remember this cab driver's name. But through our brief cab rides, I've come to admire this person greatly.

When we first got into the cab, he shook hands with my dad and told my dad that his proficiency in English was about 70%. We all breathed a sigh of relief as we'd encountered several drivers who couldn't understand what we were saying.

Over the course of two days, he acted as our personal cab driver. He was friendly, always ready to offer good suggestions on tourist spots, and even helped us plot a strategic route so we could cover more places in less time.

But his 70% didn't mean he understood every word we said.

Sure, there were a few times when we tried really hard not to burst out laughing when the cab driver and my dad were trying to communicate, sometimes using hand gestures.

What made me admire him most was his dedication to learning.

He always tried his best to use proper English, and to seek out the best places in Thailand for food and shopping.

In fact, all around the streets in Bangkok, you can see people of all ages walking past holding English books or audio books, learning English grammar and pronunciation.

Age is no limiting factor for these people. To them, it is never too late to learn, nor is it too difficult to learn what may be a totally foreign language to some.

It is this spirit of learning and hospitality conveyed by the people of Bangkok, but most importantly from that cab driver that makes me want to visit Thailand again.

And I hope that one day when I do return, I can meet this cab driver again.

Life Lesson #6: Of A Banana (and some worms)

As I am on the couch getting my daily dose of CNN, I feel this sudden urge to randomly browse through some sites and update myself on my friends' activities.

I see a simple update message. One word that expresses more than 7 simple letters. One word that carries a message of sorrow and regret.

Have you ever felt betrayed when you've been in something for such a long time and suddenly discovered that it wasn't what you thought it to be?

Something like that happened to me once. I must've been about 9 or 10 at that time.

I was peeling a banana in the backseat of my car. 

Halfway through the banana, I discovered some white things moving in the banana.

They.... were.... maggots. And there was a clump of them, right in the centre of the banana. The banana I was eating.

First thought: EWWW!!!!!! I don't know what made me manage to wrap up the rest of the banana and put it in a plastic bag. I might've just thrown it out the window.

Since that incident, I've been really apprehensive of bananas. I avoid bananas at all costs. Every time I peel a banana, I expect to see maggots wriggling in it.

This fear has induced me to hate bananas. This unexplained phobia of bananas sometimes annoys my family members.

Back to modern-day me.

An incident that occured recently reminded me of something very important in life.

Although bananas aren't exactly very prominent in my life, I did use to like it. It was healthy, tasty, and most importantly, had potassium - which allows people to be more mentally-energized.

I told myself it'd be silly to mistrust all bananas for eternity just because one of them happened to have maggots in it - even if it is totally gross.

The same held for this incident. It wasn't a biggie in my life or anything, and even though not a lot of people noticed, I had been down in the dumps for about a week following the incident. I buried myself in work.

As much as we'd like to convince ourselves otherwise, there are some things and people in life that we just like to have around for company.

When you find out a person is not what you think he/she is, what does one do?

One can break off all ties. 

One can attempt to distance him/herself.

One can attempt to pretend nothing happened.

Or, one can choose to express her insecurities and opinions, and hope to exercise change. Which is what I tried to do.

I doubted my decision after the first few days; I was a naturally straightforward person, so some of the things I did could've been overboard for others.

Now, though, I do not regret that decision one bit.

I got an answer. I got an assurance. I got a promise of change.

Only time will tell if my restored trust is worthwhile.

But for now, I shall trust my instincts and blog on.

Just as I have learned to drop my prejudice against an innocent piece of fruit, I should also learn to regain trust when one has been proven worthy of it.