Book Review #5: Have A Little Faith

After reading For One More Day by Mitch Albom, I couldn't wait to get started on Have A Little Faith. I was especially excited, because this was based largely on a true story. Mitch Albom did not disappoint with this book. In fact, towards the end of the book, I cried because I could feel all the emotions seeping out between each and every word. That pretty much describes how beautifully-written the book was. I appreciate how the book strengthens the idea that all religions are uniquely different but should co-exist harmoniously together. For example, when the Reb walks arm in arm with a Catholic priest. He uses actions to show that two people of different beliefs can and should get along with each other - because at the end of the day, all religions and all faiths teach us to do good. The book also serves up some simple yet profound life lessons that are buried and long forgotten in our busy lifestyles. "Nothing haunts like the things we don't say" - this was my favourite phrase in the book. I also liked the part where Albom and the Reb talked about wars related to religion. (but I won't diverge further spoilers here) All-in-all, this is a highly-recommended book for people of all religions. It packs a neat bunch of lessons that will stay with you no matter where you place your faith.

Life Lesson #30: Sibling Rivalry

Whenever people ask my twin sister and I about our sibling rivalry, we always tell people that we do have a bit of rivalry, but it's definitely healthy competition and we help each other out along the way. In fact, I think we've answered this question so many times there could an answer script subconsciously embedded into our heads by now.

Our answer hits very close to home; it's not just a diplomatic answer scripted perfectly for reporter interviews. It's true that we compete against each other; it is also true that we give each other tips and help one another out. But one thing that I haven't had the courage to divulge up until now is that yes, jealousy is something that is not lacking in our sibling rivalry.

I don't know how my sister feels about this, so it would be unfair to say that this was our joint opinion. I myself, however, do experience little stabs of jealousy (and at times, disappointment) when I don't do as well, or when I get compared to my sister on every aspect; and by that, I mean literally EVERY aspect. 

Not all twins end up doing the same thing; but in our case, yes, we ended up doing many of the same things. We both did debate, both loved to read and write, both chose the science stream in high school, and played the same musical instruments. We even joined the same competitions and the same societies. If that was not ample room to compare the both of us, I don't know what is.

When I was younger, I let my jealousy grow bit by bit. Though it never came close to the point that I got frustrated with my sister, there were times when I wished we did different things so the comparison wouldn't be so obvious. My sister is an excellent student; being compared to her is tough business.

I'm fortunate, though, that my efforts did pay off and I eventually came to terms with the whole comparing game. But I see a lot of people around me who get compared to their siblings even when they excel in different fields. They are expected to equal, do better than their siblings, or even follow in their siblings' footsteps in the future. Stress levels multiply, frustration grows and both siblings tend to drift apart because of the endless comparisons.

We people love to compare things. We compare prices at supermarkets, toners and moisturizers and beauty products from different brands, which hawker stall serves better food, and the list goes on and on and on. We always have to find something to compare. We want to find a standard, and compare everything else to it. When it comes to people, our habit takes over and we simply have to compare them to someone, anyone. When there is an older sibling, a younger sibling, a twin or a friend, we begin to make comparisons and criticisms. And we can't stop.

Comparison breeds a lot of ill feelings. That's not to say that comparison is evil; I think it is necessary for improvement. But comparing a person with another person who is essentially different hardly yields positive results, not even if you're comparing, say, a girl with her older sister. Siblings can share the same blood, and twins can share the same face, but at the end of the day, we are different beings. That applies to each and every one of us.

How do we come to terms with getting compared? Saying "she is who she is, and I am who I am" hardly changes things. For me, I came to terms with the situation. I knew my sister was excellent; at the same time, I knew I wasn't doing terribly at my studies. Instead of paying attention to other people's comparisons (and believe me, that is HARD), I paid attention to my own comparisons. I compared my current results to my previous results, and then it became easier when I saw that I was improving at my own pace. 

It becomes easier when other people aren't comparing you, because in a comparison someone always has to be the inferior one.

Another important thing is how to deal with those ill feelings. I think ill feelings are always going to be there; but instead of letting it become an elephant in the room, I believe facing and admitting their existence can lead to more comfortable thoughts. Knowing and understanding that it's alright to be jealous may even lead you to contemplate ways to become less emotionally-orientated, which can improve performance and judgement. (Because as some of us have experienced before, sibling jealousy can lead you to argue with your sibling on every single exam answer, even if your answer is plain wrong.)

I am also fortunate, in my situation, that my sister and I eventually developed different interests and were not compared for it. It definitely made things easier for both of us, as others no longer prodded us on why we didn't want to study the same things. Actions played a role; I loved to collect articles on wines and chocolates and food, while my sister was fascinated by nanotechnology and its multitude of contributions. It was obvious to anyone who knew us well that we weren't going to choose the same path in life.

But for those siblings who do get compared for what they choose to do, my best piece of advice is to remain patient and respect other people's opinions. They can say what they want, but we can choose what advice we want to apply in our lives. If you don't want to get compared - which is close to Mission Impossible - use your actions to show that you are different. Or, if you've got the courage, just tell them very nicely that you would prefer them not to compare you to your sibling. 

Most importantly, face it head on. Running away can never solve a problem -  unless you happen to be running away from a natural disaster or danger. At least, when you admit that there are comparisons and some rivalry involved, you'll find ways to reduce the comparisons and keep the rivalry healthy and beneficial for both siblings.

Because, at the end of the day, you're still family, right?

Book Review #5: Thirteen Reasons Why

What would you do if you awoke one day to find a shoebox full of tapes at your doorstep? Let's make that more specific. A box of tapes, sent by a person who had committed suicide some time ago.

I would drop the box and scream. But Clay Jensen did not do that. He took the box inside, popped a tape into his old stereo and listened. To a voice that could never be heard again.

That's when he realizes that he is named as one of the reasons Hannah Baker committed suicide.

That's when it gets freaky. But not in the kind of horror-book-way. Freaky, because you hear all the inner thoughts of a person who gradually considers suicide her only option.

The book, aptly titled Thirteen Reasons Why, is about the thirteen reasons - people - Hannah Baker took her own life. Every single action and person plays a small but key role in development of the story. Hannah's voice is interlaced with Clay's thoughts and actions; in some ways, Clay's actions foreshadows the upcoming revelations made by Hannah in her recordings.

Before I read this book, I checked out the reviews to determine if it was worth adding to my little collection. The reviews were mixed, mainly because it was centred on suicide. Suicide is a sensitive (?) topic; no one seems to know the general reason behind it, and those who have contemplated it before can't agree on a general reason.

I'm going to judge this from two angles - literary and personal.

From a literary angle, I respect Jay Asher's ability to work his creative license. Writing in the voice of a teenage girl - and one who is on the verge of suicide - is hard. Like a lot of people, Hannah Baker also has two sides. Having two sides is not a bad thing - as long as your second side is not an evil-doer. It just shows that you can't be who you want to be wherever you are, and this is something many people face in their lives. It was fresh to see this being pointed out through the discrepancy between Hannah's thoughts and actions. What I liked best, though, was the ending. I won't diverge any spoilers here - but suffice to say it has something to do with Clay Jensen. Had that part not been added into the story, I would've been compelled to judge it from a purely personal angle.

Though I agree with some critics that it was well-written, personally, I didn't fall head-over-heels for this book. Despite finding Hannah Baker a believable character and sympathizing with her, I find her motives bordering on attention-seeking. I am in no position to criticize anyone who contemplates suicide (even if it is fictional); however, I feel that some parts may have been slightly dramaticized to keep the story going, and that takes away from the freshness of the main idea.

But I must give credit to Jay Asher where it is due; especially when he brings up the idea - albeit subtly - that we want attention from those who won't give it to us, even if they are the very ones who have made our lives a big miserable mess. Why do we do that? Is it some inborn instinct to seek approval from anyone and everyone? Why is it, then, that those who have already approved us can never give us the satisfaction we seek?

I don't know why, but Thirteen Reasons Why has certainly got me reassessing my priorities in life.

Book Review #4: The Track of Sand (Inspector Montalbano series)

I was actually compelled to give this book a 4 1/2 star rating because there were some parts where I couldn't comprehend the situation clearly, but the overall storyline (and Inspector Montalbano's counter-attack) were so brilliant that I had to round it off to a 5.

Magnifique! This is my first try at the Inspector Montalbano series, and I'm already hooked! The Track of Sand is book 12 in the (currently) 13-book series by Andrea Camilleri. Each book covers a mysterious case that is unravelled by the inspector and his colleagues. In this particular book, Montalbano finds a dead horse in front of his seaside home, which marks the start of several disturbing events. He and his colleagues must make sense of the seemingly disconnected clues to solve the case.

The Inspector himself is an interesting character. He is undoubtedly smart, and at times a tad cunning; but when it comes to things that do not involve crime-solving he finds himself in an awkward predicament. Somehow this makes him seem real; he's not the perfect, uptight, no-nonsense type of inspector that is larger than life. Like everyone else, he has a temper and is not free from mistakes.

Camilleri carefully crafts a plot to out the guilty in this book. Every detail is planned out and executed artfully. It makes you applaud the brilliance of Inspector Montalbano; at the same time, it also shows Montalbano's foresight. 

I can't wait to see more of Montalbano in action in the other twelve books. Big Bad Wolf book sale, I'm counting on you! (You're also the only way I can collect ALL remaining 12 books)

Sometimes I wish I'd just stick to the trilogy books. They're so much easier (and WAY more economical) to collect.

Book Review #3: For One More Day

Mitch Albom rocks!

After just one book, I'm won over by his storytelling abilities. I bet a lot of other people were too.

The central theme of For One More Day is a question that has been asked and answered over and over again in perhaps many other books - if you were given one day with a deceased loved one, what would you do?

Chick Benetto - the lead character of this story - is on the verge of committing suicide. Too many things have gone wrong for him, and when he is not invited to his daughter, Maria's wedding, his decision is made.

Drunk-driving, he crashes into a truck, gets thrown out of his vehicle, and miraculously makes it back to his childhood home, where he is greeted by his mother. Who is supposed to be dead.

The story that ensues is a normal tag-along-trip with his mother to her appointments. During each appointment, he pieces together more and more things about his mother that he has never known. More importantly, he gradually understands his mother's misunderstood actions after decades of "not standing up for my mother".

Mitch Albom is a great storyteller. I really liked how he inserted seemingly random "notes" or "entries" from Chick Benetto's "possessions" as the story unfolded. Everything was carefully planned to give us an insight into Chick's life and how he is who he is today. He is capable of expressing deep and realistic emotions through simple actions. I love how these small aspects speak volumes about the characters and their personalities.

Reading this book really forces us to reflect on ourselves. As humans, we seem to have this knack of desiring something or someone we don't have. We also have this knack of taking those around us for granted, simply because they have been there for us one too many times. And then, we only realize our mistakes when it's too late.

For One More Day echoes what many people think to themselves subconsciously or what many people may have gone through themselves. It is just a book, a fictional thought; but its influence is much more than that.

It is a reminder that life is too short for us to take anything for granted.

It is also a reminder that love, truly can keep a person alive in your heart.

Book Review #2: The Street of a Thousand Blossoms

I've always loved to read historical fiction. It seems so easy to lose yourself in the past, to see and imagine yourself living in a period that is foreign yet fresh and exciting.

So it was no surprise when I spotted The Street of a Thousand Blossoms stacked neatly at the Big Bad Wolf Book Sale and automatically dropped one of the books into my shopping "box".

This is my first experience reading Gail Tsukiyama. Previously, I had read Kazuo Ishiguro, Qiu Xiaolong, Adam Johnson and Tan Twan Eng, all of whom - in my opinion - have crafted marvellous works with honest and emotional depictions. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that Gail Tsukiyama possessed the enviable ability to produce realistic and emotional descriptions as well.

The book revolves around two brothers, Hiroshi and Kenji Matsumoto, orphans who live with their grandparents. Both brothers cultivate differing interests; the former in sumo wrestling and the latter in making Noh theatre masks. As both brothers grow up and move closer to their respective dreams, they face their own challenges, joys and heartbreaks.

I won't be elaborating too much on the story - for fear of revealing any spoilers - so I would focus on the way the book is written. Right from the start I was mesmerized by Tsukiyama's attention to detail. The descriptions were so realistic I sometimes found myself craving the dishes cooked by Hiroshi's grandmother!

I also appreciated how Tsukiyama managed to put down the thoughts of each character into words. Sometimes a character performs a seemingly insignificant action, but then you realize how these small actions turn out to be the most accurate representations of each character's sentiments and personalities. They are hints to each character's decision and in some ways they play an important role in the overall direction of the story.

While I really enjoyed the first three quarters of the book, I ended this book lacking the kind of satisfaction I had experienced when I first started reading it. The ending, I believe, achieved the kind of effect Tsukiyama had aimed for, but I felt like I was left hanging at the end of the book. In some ways, I had hoped that the emotional impact would be stronger and more profound.

Even so, I would highly recommend this book for its ability to spur imaginations and hit the correct emotional buttons from different perspectives, albeit a slightly - but only, slightly - weaker emotional impact at the end.

Book Review #1: Until I Say Good-bye

The first book I read that was written by a terminally-ill patient was The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch, (I assume so because all the other authors whose books I've read have mentioned nothing about their health whatsoever) and I cannot, for the life of me, remember when I read it, or what was in it. So when I picked up Until I Say Good-bye as a birthday present for myself, I started with next to nil expectations of its content.

This book is written by court crime journalist Susan Spencer-Wendel, who has received a lifetime achievement award for her work. So I can assure you that the language used is simple, straightforward and beautiful. As for the content, I certainly was not disappointed.

The story begins with Susan and her family at Discovery Cove, Orlando. They took a three-hour drive from their home in West Palm Beach, Florida to give Susan's youngest son, Wesley a birthday treat. But as Susan puts it, this is not only a present to her youngest son; it is also a present to herself.

Susan was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) - more commonly known as Lou Gehrig's disease - in June 2011. It is a progressive and irreversible disease that destroys the motor neurones responsible for voluntary movement. In other words, the neurones die, rendering the patient unable to move his or her muscles. It affects everything from walking, to holding a phone and even eating (because our digestive tract is composed of muscles as well).

It started out as a "withering" left hand - first losing grip, then strength and eventually hope that she was not afflicted with ALS. It took a year for her to finally accept and be properly diagnosed. As Susan herself admits, she was living in denial. She simple could not confirm for a fact that she had an incurable disease that would eventually take her away from her loved ones.

And so begins a journey where Susan gradually embraces the truth and embarks on a journey to uncover her past and leave behind beautiful memories for the people she holds dear.

It is somewhat akin to a memoir; but what makes it stand out are the emotions that flow between her words. The memoir is not crafted to sound like a person who is impossibly optimistic in the face of death; it expresses her vulnerabilities, her joys, her regrets and her gratitude with amazing clarity.

I personally love books that are honestly written. Honest, as in something that is not glorified for the purpose of sounding better. Something that could actually happen in real life. Something that is happening right now, to someone somewhere around the globe.

And so I appreciate how Susan is frank about her condition. How, once-in-a-while, she thinks about this disease and feels sad. She doesn't force herself to be happy all the time for the sake of optimism. Disease did not take away from her the feelings that all humans share - embarrassment, frustration, fear. It did not take away her identity.

Though the book chronicles Susan's journeys, I believe it teaches a greater lesson to each and every reader - that in the face of despair, accepting your sadness and frustration is as important as moving on.

That happy memories should and will continue to live on long after the physical presence is no longer there.

And above all, that willpower is the stage for all miracles to happen.