Life Lesson #29: The Calculator

In the eyes of the 21st century student - well, at least one who studies in a high school in Malaysia - the most durable invention of all time is not the latest military tank or the old keypad mobile phone.

It is.....

(drumroll please)

the calculator.

No matter how many times you drop it on the ground, it will almost always -  unless you smash it real bad - flash a black 0 at you when you check its lifeline.

I am no stranger to calculator-dropping. In fact, I drop many of my things in school regularly. Pens, pencils, erasers, correction tape caps and my water bottle were frequent "victims" of my hand-slips and carelessness. I spoilt my new mechanical pencil once when I dropped it on the floor one too many times. It cracked and though I tried my best to save it, nothing could be done.

That's why I like the calculator. It's durable, even after sustaining scars and slip discs. It never fails to amaze me how the calculator manages to bear the brunt of each and every fall and remain as alive as ever. Perhaps one day I should dissect my calculator and see if there's some extra special lining in it that boasts of anti-shock abilities.

If our hearts could be like calculators, then we would all be able to bounce back from disappointment and sorrow immediately, as if nothing had happened. 

But imagine if that were really the case - then there would be no meaning to happiness, sorrow, anger; because regardless of the emotion, we would all be carrying on with our lives at the same pace. Life would become a schedule, not a surprise; indeed, there would not be any enemies, but at the same time, friendship and love loses its value. 

So in a sense, I'm glad that my heart isn't a calculator. I want to be able to feel all sorts of emotions - be it good or bad. Emotions help us to grow into stronger and better people; by hiding from them we deprive ourselves of the opportunity to experience different feelings and to learn how to overcome these feelings. 

Calculators may be shock-proof, but human hearts aren't. That's not necessarily a bad thing though. We have cushions - friends, family - to catch us when we fall, so treat your "cushions" well and no matter how many times we fall, there'll always be a puffy, soft landing mat for us in life.

That being said, let's be a little nicer to our calculators too. 

Life Lesson #28: Living Without Regrets

You don't expect to be greeted by the news of a young celebrity's death on a bright Sunday morning. 

But it happened today. 

" 'Glee' star Cory Monteith found dead in hotel in Canada."

I bet a lot of people were shocked when they heard the news, even if they weren't Gleeks to begin with. I, for one, was shocked silent and had to Google it, trying to convince myself it wasn't real. We were all shocked; Lea Michele must have been devastated. I cannot imagine the ordeal she is going through right now, but I can only pray that she can stay strong, for herself, and for her late boyfriend.

When devastating things happen, it leaves you with a lot of things - sadness, regret, reminiscence. But if there were some way for us to sum it up, it would be the countless "if only"s that face us in the wake of tragedy.

If only I had been honest with myself....

If only I hadn't argued with her....

If only, if only, if only.

And at the end of the day, all we're left with are questions left unanswered, scenarios that will never happen, and a bucket filled with regret.

I don't want to look back on my life and regret the things I did, or never did. Life can't give me a rewind button or a second chance.

We can only fight for our second chances. Only we can fight to change our stories and wipe away the regrets.

Every day is a day worth being thankful for. Above all, every day is a day worth making a change, a small step towards a happier life.

No one wants to live with regrets, but only those who have the courage to face their past, present and future can live without regrets.

And I'm ready to live with that courage.

What about you?

Life Lesson #26: Teachers

A few days ago, my school witnessed its annual Teachers' Day Celebrations, which coincided with our annual class song competition. I'm glad to report that my class managed to come in as champions during our final year, which was our best and most enjoyable performance to date.

Check out the link below:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWDBG6yRXAY

Anyway, the highlight of the day wasn't the competition. It was the celebrations in tribute to our teachers.

Soon after our class song performance, the entire graduation class came together to present a performance for the teachers. It consisted of a remake and recombination of songs that we hoped brought back our teachers' memories.

The link to the performance is as follows:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvseyl35MPY

It was a big challenge for us to put up this performance. It required lots of courage and improvisation.

We had barely two weeks to prepare this performance. It wasn't because we took it lightly, but because my friends and I (the first four people on stage - also known as 'The Debate Team' in school, though we've retired last year) could not coordinate our schedules for time to practise.

And then there was the issue of song arrangement. We had NO experience whatsoever in song arrangement, let alone in "remixing" songs (some of which I did not even know how to sing at first). We picked six songs - in the end, we went with four remixed songs, and a short intro performance before that.

After some transposition, rearranging, and crisis control, we finalized our performance, with a gamble on some traditional Chinese drums (muffled with cloth to create the effect of a proper Western one).

At the last minute, the entire graduation class wanted to join in. By last minute, I mean the very day before the performance was due. We did a quick and brief run-through of the songs, and frantically posted links to the original songs so that they could pick up the songs.

On the day itself, there were mistakes aplenty. I (the guitarist), at several times, played a different tempo to the drummer, and the actions were by no means, perfect. There were pitch problems, minor technical issues, confusion regarding the "bridge" between songs, and some of us didn't even know the final song had ended.

In short, it was a mess, albeit a mess we had fun "creating".

And to my surprise, as I served up a lunch box gift to a teacher (along with my fellow graduation class students), the teacher said she loved our performance and looked forward to our performances during our graduation dinner.

We were praying hard for the teachers to at least find our performance mediocre, or merely satisfying, but here there was a teacher telling me that our performance made her day.

And then I realized - the answer was so simple. As a teacher, all she wanted was a heartfelt wish, which came in the form of a "messed-up" performance.

While teachers are so easily touched by our small gestures, why do we expect so much from them to truly appreciate their efforts?

A teacher's greatest pleasure is in helping his or her student pave the way to their desired future. It is this spirit that keeps them going day after day, in the midst of troubled students, helicopter parents, tight schedules and little personal time.

So don't they deserve something aside from the customary "Thank you"?

To all the teachers who have graced my life, Happy Teachers' Day!

And if you haven't done it yet, do it today!

Timing is key; but the heart matters most. :)

Life Lesson #25: Vanity

There was a time where the word "vanity" didn't exist in my vocabulary. It was, to me, a taboo that I didn't want to approach or understand. In my young, cooped-up world, vanity was something that wasted time, money and effort - all of which could be spent doing other things that were far more "useful".

And so I became what others would define as a stereotypical nerd - head buried in books, difficulty in socializing with others, no care about appearance whatsoever. Of course, the last part isn't completely true. Though I could not bring myself to accept vanity, I still dressed properly, albeit simply. 

These were from my primary school days, or in other words, pre-teen years.

I'm living the sixth and possibly, last year of my teenage life. During those five and a half years, I've learnt a lot about what vanity means and stands for in actual life.

A lot of girls become vain in their teenage years. The levels of vanity differ from person to person - mild, moderate to excessive. We all know that things in excess (except perhaps vegetables and fruits) are bad; but a moderate amount of vanity is always good and needed.

Years ago, if I'd been asked to talk about the benefits of vanity, I would clam up, because to me vanity was and would always be a negative term. But I've come to realize that being vain comes with its advantages, as long as it isn't overdone.

When I look good, I feel good. Sounds cheesy, but hey, that's how appearances can boost confidence.

Nowadays, I care more about my skin, my hair, my looks and my style, though I'm still a nerd at heart. But who ever said that nerds can't look good and feel good too?

Being vain once in a while doesn't hurt; it helps you to realize that sometimes, you need to care for yourself too.

Being vain isn't everything; but being vain is something.

And to Bobak Ferdowsi, kudos to changing what the world thinks of us nerds!

The one, the only, Mohawk Guy!

 

A Tribute to Zach Sobiech

I admit, I am a total crybaby when it comes to movies.

I used to cry in cinemas during movie outings with friends, or when I was watching movies at home. After that I would chide myself for crying unnecessarily when others barely shed a tear. (I did not, however, cry during Les Miserables. But that was because I expected it to be extremely tragic.)

This, however, is one video that I am proud to have cried while watching.

What is the meaning to life? We never know or appreciate it until the time comes, when it's time for us to go.

But we never expect that time to come in our teens, the time when our dreams are just beginning to blossom into reality, when we just want to have fun and be crazy.

Zach Sobiech contracted cancer when he was 14. When most of us were enjoying our so-called "honeymoon years" in high school.

I cannot imagine the pain he must've felt then. That feeling of not knowing when your life is going to end, but that it will be soon.

His family calls him a "beautiful" person. That is a fact, not a praise.

He was a living example of how the strongest people are always those who hurt the most.

I say "was", because he is now in a better place, where he continues to watch over his friends and family. His life is a testimony to how an enriching life should be, and how one person's decision can inspire many others around the world.

Rest in Peace, Zach. I may not have had opportunity to know you when you were alive, but I'm glad that I now know your beautiful story.
Check out the below site for more details and to watch the heart-warming video of Zach, his family and his friends.
http://www.upworthy.com/this-kid-just-died-what-he-left-behind-is-wondtacular-rip?g=3

Life Lesson #24: Honesty

Many people claim to be honest with themselves, and to truly see the flaws contained in themselves. I used to be one of them.

I always thought that I'd faced myself honestly, that I had been looking into the mirror of my heart.

But it was a competition that showed me who I really was as a person, and that there was much to do on the road to honesty and bravery.

The only reason I ever cry after competitions is because I didn't perform well, or simply because I lost. This may sound very competitive and - perhaps, arrogant - of me, and yes, I fully admit to it and am willing to change that. But more of that later on.

Just last week, I participated in a public speaking competition. The Chinese part of the competition was impromptu, and thus we had to pick a title and prepare the script in a limited amount of time. As I received an angpau with my six optional titles in it (and not money, sadly), I singled one out and started writing.

This title I picked was 不做温室中的花朵. It meant not to become a flower inside a greenhouse. I wanted to perform well on this title, as I had under-performed in the previous Malay section. Halfway through my script, I added something in that would change my perspective of life forever.

I put in a part about how I always lived in the comfort of a greenhouse - victory. I believe I was so used to victory that I got to a point where I could not accept losses. This way of thinking did falter a bit when I lost in a competition that I had always won - but its roots were never completely destroyed. But by putting in this part of my history in my script, I was finally able to leave that part of me behind and move on.

When I was on stage presenting this part, I nearly pushed myself to the breaking point. Once I got off stage and returned to the safety of my seat, all the emotions bottled up in me were set free. One of the participants (who sat next to me) and the masters of ceremonies on stage were shocked at the sudden outburst. My fellow participant tried to calm me down (she thought I cried because I was disappointed in myself) but later on I explained that I was happy because that was the best script I had ever written in all of my 12 years of school life.

It was the best script because it was not one merely filled with facts, emotionless advice and general statements.

It was something I could relate to, something I could believe in, and something that convinced myself.

That was the first - and I believe, not the last - time I have been truly honest with myself. That was the first time I dared to look into the mirror of my heart and see the scars, the imperfections in it. 

Even as I am sitting here, writing about this right now, I feel glad that I am writing this while looking into my personal mirror.

We don't look into the mirror of our hearts not because it is futile or wasting time, but because we refuse the see the imperfections and negative sides of ourselves. 

So I guess you could say that we are all similar to Dorian Gray in this respect - by refusing to look at his portrait, he failed to see his sins. 

But it's not too late for any of us to look at the mirrors of our hearts. 

Life Lesson #23: Passion

Everyone has passion.

But having passion and realizing our passions are two completely different things.

A lot of people often say that they are extremely passionate about something - music, writing, singing, dancing.

But is it called real passion if it lives only in our heads and not in reality?

Sometimes, I wonder if I think too much - maybe I do. But that aside, I've asked myself if I was really and truly passionate about so many things in life. I love words and music. But is it my passion?

True passion is something that is emanated from our souls every minute of our lives. A person who passionate about music becomes a singer, or performs regularly. A person who is passionate about writing writes all the time. A person who is passionate about helping people lends a helping hand to anyone in need.

So how dare I call myself a passionate person when I don't even have the courage to turn my dreams into reality?

To those people who had the courage to put their passion into reality, I salute you. You dared to pursue something with unknown consequences and put in your all to make it work. You are the very icon of passion.

And to people who have yet gotten the courage to pursue your passion; do it now before you miss your chance. You will fail or you will succeed. But you learn nothing if you never try.

We have no right to criticize people with passion so long as we do not put in the same amount of effort or even more into making our passion into something concrete. We have no right to complain about people if we aren't doing anything to make things better. And no, just talking alone cannot solve the entire picture.

It is human to dream. But it is admirable to turn dreams into a real story.

Life Lesson #22: Self

Have you ever felt upset because you've had to yield something you wanted to someone else? That feeling of unfairness, the slight tinge of sourness? Then you tell yourself it's okay, it's better to let someone else have it. But that twist in your stomach remains knotted. To be selfish, or selfless, is that really a question even worth asking?

I really didn't want to write about this at first; it makes me seem like a bad guy, admitting to being selfish, or at the very least, had the experience of being selfish.

Lately though, I've been in a dilemma about these two polar opposites. Normally, I would say that being selfless is better, but now I've begun to wonder, to what extent is this still plausible?

To be completely selfless seems impossible. But people like Mother Theresa have achieved what people label as the epitome of selflessness. This is no longer a question of self however, but an issue of happiness and achievement.

We don't choose to be selfish for no reason at all; being selfish allows us to put our priorities first and that makes us feel better. We believe that being selfless means sacrificing our wants and in this respect, we feel upset when yielding something we want to another person.

I once read an article that mentioned kindness as being an act of selfishness. Why? The answer is simple; we are kind to others because we want to free others from their troubles, and that makes us happy. Being happy is one of our priorities; and thus, we are putting our priorities first and acting selfishly.

From this respect, as Mother Theresa was being selfless to others, she was being "selfish" to herself as she was joyful at her work. This "selfishness" isn't a bad thing at all. So being selfish - it's not really the thug in the equation.

The real issue on hand is actually the thoughts swirling like ice-cream in our heads. It isn't how 'selfish' or 'selfless' we are that counts; it's how good our thoughts are that matter.

Life is a never-ending battle between selfish and selfless. Occasionally a balance is achieved, where both parties benefit - when we have good intentions and even kinder ideas.

Be selfish in a good way. Then everyone can feel good. :)

Life Lesson #21: Richness

Two Sundays ago, I had the privilege to participate in the Time to Give Back event organized by Responsible Blogging 2013. And, as shown by many charity events, it wasn't just a matter of distributing items to the kids; it was a unique and meaningful lesson of life.

We went to three places in total - Ashrama Ramakrishna, Children's Protection Society and Shan Children's home. At each orphanage we distributed sandwiches, drinks and a tablet, sponsored by Subway, Chatime and Ninetology Malaysia. Thank you for the delicious lunch and for putting smiles on the kids' faces!

Ashrama Ramakrishna

Reach out to Ashrama Ramakrishna by dropping by at No.37, Jalan Scotland, 10450 Pulau Pinang, or contact them at 04-2270869/ ramkorp@hotmail.com.

Do check out their website http://theramakrishnapg.org/ for more details!

Display board at Children's Protection Society

Drop by at 118-A, Jalan Scotland, 10450 Pulau Pinang as well. If you're interested in donating, sponsoring or volunteering at Children's Protection Society, ring them at 04-8294046 or e-mail them at cpspg@hotmail.com. 

Check out www.cpspg.org.my for further details!

Shan Children's Home

Located at 679-D, Jalan Mount Erskine, Tanjung Tokong, 10470 Pulau Pinang, Penang Shan Children's Home Association needs your help. You can reach them at 04-2292186/ 016-4127711 or via e-mail at shanchildrenhomepg@yahoo.com.

Remember that every bit of help counts!

Kudos to Alextan Artworks for bringing his team over to cover the entire event for free! (http://www.facebook.com/alextanartwork?group_id=0).

One thing that really touched me was how thankful and responsible the kids were. They seem much happier than other kids, maybe because they've learnt to appreciate the little things in life. The people running the orphanages also put in their all to provide for the kids, not just material wealth, but also mental, spiritual and religious wealth.

But orphanages don't run on blogs alone; they need any form of help we can offer. They need volunteers, donations, supplies. Most of all, they need our help so that their kids can grow up to achieve their dreams. To help them, of course, we need to be rich. But richness isn't measured by money, wealth or property; it is measured by the amount of love we can give to society. 

Alex Tan and his hard-working team with the kids at Shan's Children's Home

Hawker food ramblings #2!

I was at New World Park (Jalan Burmah, really big hawker centre with shops as well) having a not-so-early yet no-so-late breakfast with my dad and sister. Lots of stalls were closed today because of yesterday's Thaipusam celebrations. After walking around for a bit, we decided to order fried noodles.

Waiting time: Around 5 minutes. Good time frame.

First impression: Okay, not the kind that has smoke rising from it and blows your socks off. But looks edible haha.

Taste: The dry type of 'char mee'. I personally prefer wetter types, but this one tasted okay, somewhere between edible and good, but closer to the good side. Prawns were.... not-so-fresh, but thankfully not the type that tastes flaky or powdery. Egg wasn't charred, so yay!

Price: RM4. There WERE 3 prawns, but because they weren't that fresh, I'd say that it's price scores about 7.5-8/10.

Overall score: 7.5/10. I've tasted better types for cheaper prices, but this is still something I would order.

Off to buy more guppies for my tank! Till next time, enjoy today's holiday! :)

Time to Give Back!

Spread the CNY cheer everyone! If you happen to be in Penang on the 3rd of February, why not go to Straits Quay and help out in spreading some goodness to orphanages in Penang?

Refer to the pic below for more details! :)

Happy early Chinese New Year! 

新年快乐，万事如意！

Life Lesson #20: Over

And then, it was over.

Honestly, I didn't think things would go as smoothly as they had. I was prepared to put in some time to resolve the issue, but after two days and a peaceful talk, it was over.

Of course, I was happy, relieved, thankful that it was all over. My ties to others weren't severed; others' trust in me weren't lost. It was an all-round win-win affair. 

But I can't lie and say that I didn't feel the least bit upset at this resolution of matters.

Saying no to your interest and responsibility for three years is never easy. Even if it gives you more freedom, the hollowness still remains.

Was it the right decision? I guess I may never know. But was it a necessary decision? Sadly, it was. 

If only I had more than 24 hours in a day, my interests and priorities would live in a somewhat symbiotic manner. 

If only I had the ability of a savant, I wouldn't have to make such difficult decisions.

But there are only so many "if only"s that I can think about. "If only" can't give me more time, it can't give me superpowers, it can't solve anything.

The willingness to listen, be listened to, and make compromises - that is the only way to solve a sticky situation.

And just like that, it was all over.